I LIKE MY PHONE!
I have a mobile telephone. I actually find it very useful. But although most of the features I use on a daily basis are functioning perfectly well, as indeed they have for many years... I am bombarded with texts and emails of a most insistent nature, imploring me to accept their kind offer of a new and 'upgraded' phone. Unsurprisingly this will involve me changing to a new and upgraded and considerably more expensive payment contract.
I LIKE MY PHONE, I LIKE MY PHONE
OH PLEASE O2 - LEAVE ME ALONE !
I don't want to upgrade
I don't want to upgrade !
Call me stubborn or stupid, old-fashioned or staid
But my current technology suits me just fine
Old bottles I find, are the best for old wine
I've got quite enough of quite new gigabytes
And I know how to find my favourite sites
I've got WhatsApp and texts for communication
And I know how to google for information
My screen's large enough - it's quite fit for purpose
I've got so many pixels I must have a surplus
I've got POP and SMTP,
ITV and BBC
Though I find it quite hard to get Radio Pard....
( But then why would you ?? )
I can tell the time, find words that rhyme
Find out if it's raining, and high tide time.
I've an app that does both time and laps
And an app for buying other apps
I've soothing music to keep me calm
And I've a lot of use for my snooze alarm
I don't want to upgrade !
I don't want to upgrade !
So why on earth would I need to upgrade?
Why won't O2 just leave me alone?.........
I've got a really lovely ringing tone
And I'm paying as much as I want to pay........
And Alexa can find it when it's hiding away
I don't want to upgrade ! ( fading out through exhaustion...)
I don't want to upgrade!
I don't want to upgrade !
I don't want to upgrade!
I don't want to upgrade !
I don't want to upgrade
I don't want to upgrade