THE TOILETS IN POLZEATH
The toilets in Polzeath
Will make you gasp and catch your breath
They are finer than the toilets in the finest little Chef.
Just imagine if you can,
A sleek and shiny pan
Made of the finest porcelain from China or Japan
For although you'll have to pay
(It's the fault of Mrs May)
For twenty pee a pee it's really worth it
And here the royals sport and play
(Yet even they will have to pay!)
And if perchance you think that strange
Here's a thought -
If they're caught sort
Do surfing princes carry change....?
Hand-washing stands of brushéd steel
Insert your hands and you will feel
The calm caress of liquid soap, that's
Followed by a gentle rain
Of pure warm local sprinkled water
And then a breeze of seaside air
As reverently, you stand there
Clean hands claspsd, as if in prayer..
Cleansed by ritual self ablution
With Cornwall Council soap solution
Reflect upon the privilege
That led you here to this poor village
Where toilet standards are maintained
Despite unwonted fiscal strains.
Though Cornwall's always last in line
When Government spending is defined
Up here it seems there's wriggle room;
There aren't facilities like this
In Troon...
© nigel hallworth 2019