The toilets in Polzeath


The toilets in Polzeath

Will make you gasp and catch your breath

They are finer than the toilets in the finest little Chef.

Just imagine if you can,

A sleek and shiny pan

Made of the finest porcelain from China or Japan

For although you'll have to pay

(It's the fault of Mrs May)

For twenty pee a pee it's really worth it

And here the royals sport and play

(Yet even they will have to pay!)

And if perchance you think that strange

Here's a thought - 

If they're caught sort

Do surfing princes carry change....?

Hand-washing stands of brushéd steel

Insert your hands and you will feel

The calm caress of liquid soap, that's

Followed by a gentle rain

Of pure warm local sprinkled water

And then a breeze of seaside air

As reverently, you stand there

Clean hands claspsd, as if in prayer.. 

Cleansed by ritual self ablution 

With Cornwall Council soap solution

Reflect upon the privilege

That led you here to this poor village

Where toilet standards are maintained

Despite unwonted fiscal strains.

Though Cornwall's always last in line

When Government spending is defined

Up here it seems there's wriggle room;

There aren't facilities like this

In Troon...

© nigel hallworth 2019