The Consequenses of Vegetables


My bowels are twisting

In vegetable hell

My insides are brewing

A terrible smell

I've been ravaged by roughage

I’m stuffed full of silage

Something awful is happening inside, I can tell.

I've a terrible worry:

Intestinal hurry

And I'm fearing the worst

I'll probably burst

There's an ominous gurgling

And internal churning

Perhaps I am turning

Though I hope I aren't

Into a plant

Processing plant.

I'm afraid it's plain

I'm producing methane

From inside my inside

And an odourous tide

Of hydrogen sulphide

By discret little pweeps

Surreptitiously seeps

Into the room

Spelling social doom

I know how it ends

I'll lose all my friends

Life is cruel

I'll be ostracized

Because my insides

Produce biofuel

© nigel hallworth 2021