Nigel Hallworth

THE BEST FISH AND CHIPS IN CORNWALL

We had come down to Cornwall with high expectations

Of Cornish culinary delectations

But we wanted the real deal

Not the pretend

And Padstow we knew, was really 'on trend'

And this was the home of a 'celebrity chef'

Where we wouldn't expect any less than the best

So we went to Rick Stein's

Had a jolly nice time

Waiting in a quite long queue

For quite a long time ....

But we didn't... in the end... get a meal there

Though we did absorb the feel, where

We could soak up the atmosphere and admire the view

But we were getting hungry

And our tummies all were rumbly

The small people they were winging - so what else could we do?

But abandon our place in the Rick Stein queue

So we walked along the quay right into Padstow town

Where we saw people sitting down

There on the quayside eating chips

Happily licking well-fed lips

Not for them Rick Stein's posh gastro-chippy

(Some of them I fear looked distinctly hippy)

For it seemed their source of gastronomical joy

Was around the corner at 'Chip Ahoy'...

So, we swallowed our pride and ventured inside

For the queue here was moving quite fast

Cheaper prices of course

They don't charge for the sauce!

Our first Cornish fish and chips at last!

The first glorious greasy hot mouthful

Was poised right in front of my lips

When the rest of my fish was brutally ripped

From my grasp - and I dropped all my chips

And the seagull went soaring up into the sky

My supper was scuppered - I started to cry

I could see that we'd all led sheltered lives

But this was Padstow, it wasn't St.Ives!

We'd come over to Padstow

(We were staying in Rock)

And expected the same standards here

Not to have to eat chips while cowering in fear

So the aerial assault was a shock

So we settled for pasties

That looked homemade and ghastly

But the little ones they liked them lots....

The insides were quite tasty

And we all liked the pastry

But they'd left out the peas and the carrots...