School Run


School Run 

School Run

Oh what fun the School Run!

Get in the car

It's not very far

Door to door in a 4x4

Why don't we walk?

Silly talk!

With all of those people and diesel fumes!

We're going to be late

We're going to be late

It's a mile and a half to the sodding school gate

OMG it's horrific

The traffic's terrific

There's buses and trucks and delivery vans 

There's mummies all fussing

And school buses bussing

We're having to stop for a lollipop man !

It doesn't  seem fair that the dozy au pair

Won't get up in the morning and do her share

She won't drive the bloody children to school

She's munching her croissants by our bloody pool

There are too many sodding great cars on the roads 

If we don't get there soon I'm going to explode

You'd think all those people would go on the bus 

And then there'd be room on the road for us

And we've got a car with a four litre engine...

And somewhere I'm sure it's got four wheel drive

Oh my God! Oh my God, we're going to be late

Can't they see my personalised number plate ! 

Oh thank God here's the school ... and a parking place

If those buses would piss off and leave us some space

There should be a lane for Range Rovers and Mercs,

No, I don't give a sod how the bus lane works !

Nigel! the peak on your school cap goes at the front! 

Nigel! I’m only telling you once!

Nigel no! I’m not absurd!

And don’t you dare use ‘that’ word!!!

Belinda find your boater, I’m going to be late

I’m all in a state, I’m going to be late!......

‘Cos I’m meeting the girls for a spot of Pilates

Then we'll all go to Costa for mochas and lattés...

 Get out of the car, get out of the car!

Yes, we're parked on the pavement, so what if we are!?

Oh come on you guys, can't you go any slower?!

Don't forget your packed lunch dears ; lovely leaves and quinoa..

Kynwire ? kynwire ... ?   What's that ?  It says quinoa on the packet !

© nigel hallworth 2021