SCHOOL RUN
School Run
School Run
Oh what fun the School Run!
Get in the car
It's not very far
Door to door in a 4x4
Why don't we walk?
Silly talk!
With all of those people and diesel fumes!
We're going to be late
We're going to be late
It's a mile and a half to the sodding school gate
OMG it's horrific
The traffic's terrific
There's buses and trucks and delivery vans
There's mummies all fussing
And school buses bussing
We're having to stop for a lollipop man !
It doesn't seem fair that the dozy au pair
Won't get up in the morning and do her share
She won't drive the bloody children to school
She's munching her croissants by our bloody pool
There are too many sodding great cars on the roads
If we don't get there soon I'm going to explode
You'd think all those people would go on the bus
And then there'd be room on the road for us
And we've got a car with a four litre engine...
And somewhere I'm sure it's got four wheel drive
Oh my God! Oh my God, we're going to be late
Can't they see my personalised number plate !
Oh thank God here's the school ... and a parking place
If those buses would piss off and leave us some space
There should be a lane for Range Rovers and Mercs,
No, I don't give a sod how the bus lane works !
Nigel! the peak on your school cap goes at the front!
Nigel! I’m only telling you once!
Nigel no! I’m not absurd!
And don’t you dare use ‘that’ word!!!
Belinda find your boater, I’m going to be late
I’m all in a state, I’m going to be late!......
‘Cos I’m meeting the girls for a spot of Pilates
Then we'll all go to Costa for mochas and lattés...
Get out of the car, get out of the car!
Yes, we're parked on the pavement, so what if we are!?
Oh come on you guys, can't you go any slower?!
Don't forget your packed lunch dears ; lovely leaves and quinoa..
Kynwire ? kynwire ... ? What's that ? It says quinoa on the packet !
© nigel hallworth 2021