You've sat in the queue
With nothing to do
But admire Stonehenge from the road
Then you braved the A 30
Summer's best for roadworks and wide loads
You've driven through Cornwall
Unimpressed and aloof
The scenery's not up to much, in truth
You sneered at Macdonald's on Hamburger Hill
And averted your eyes from Redruth
You've driven past Newquay and missed Perranporth
Not really the sort of resort for your sort
St. Ives is too busy - (you can't quite afford Rock)
Port Isaac’s a pain, ‘cos you park up the top
You encountered a queue
Where four lanes become two
At the top of the Roseworthy dip
But on the outside
Though it's not very wide
There's a traffic-free lane just for you!
So you whizzed and you weaselled
In your four-wheel-drive diesel
And pushed in at the head of the queue
The locals can wait
You've got more on your plate
They're only going to work
But now you've arrived at your long journey's end
At this quaint fishing village that's really 'on trend'
And you're sitting back thinking 'how good can this get'
There's flowers and wifi in your holiday let
It's a fine 'town house' with a view of the sea
Elegantly positioned looking down on the quay
You've a gin on the go, and the conversation flows
You look forward to lunch, and an afternoon doze
If this was Spain it would be a siesta
But you're English and so, it's an 'afternoon rest' here...
So it’s all going fine, you’ve moved onto the wine
You’ve already decided where you will dine
Cornwall is poor, so they’re always whining
But for people like us there’s designer dining.
So you think you're in heaven
But it's only Porthleven
And Rick Stein's is shut for a week
You're a posh tourist, but remember,
It'll soon be September
And you're only here for a week..
You're a bleddy posh tourist
Who thinks Cornwall's "quite glorious "
But you're only here for a week...
You'll go back to the city
Where you work - what a pity!
You were only here
For a week.....
© nigel hallworth 2021