THE QUIZ
Now, all phones off and out of sight please everyone!
No Ian, out of sight doesn't mean under the table!
And Joe.... No sneaky ipads either..!
Now we are the "Ancients', and we always come last
That's because our old brains don't work very fast
We've got all the answers inside our heads
But we wish that she'd let us do Googling instead!
The first round is the 'Coastal Round' .. about all the things to be found by the seaside.. What? You thought it was going to be 'The Postal Round' and all about letters and stamps ?? Well it isn't. And you've only got yourselves to blame for calling your team 'The Philatalists'.
I did think that sounded a bit rude actually.....Oh... you're Stamp Collectors.... How nice.....
A Geography Round!! A collective groan...
There are times when we can't even find our way home..
And our satnav finds roads with grass down the middle!!
So 'null points' in this round is inevitibibble
Now everyone exchange your answer papers with another table
NO! Yummy Mummies you can't mark your own...you don't want to exchange with The Beer Guts? And you'd prefer to be marked by Prosecco Aficionados or Any Wine is Fine ? Just make up your minds!!!
And I know you have to be home by nine o'clock because of the babysitters...!
We are the Storm Fitness Kettle Bell Gels
We're strong and we're fit and we're clever as well
The Anatomy Round! We know all about muscle!
And I'm really quite sure we'll be able to rustle
Up 10 correct answers; and the bonus as well!!
I see the Shanty Sheilas and the Mooring Buoys are wearing identical striped tops like a uniform... Very stylish and nautical.... but I'm surprised that you both scored less points in the 'Age of Sail' round than the 'Recently Come Outs'... Yes I know the questions were hard but at least they had some imaginative answers. And they knew what stoppers and clew garnets were. Or thought they did.....
Now while we are squeaky clean as a team;
Sporting and fair's how we like to be seen!
The Wise Old Owls and The Birds of a Feather
Have moved their tables closer together
Their identical scores and their knowing looks
We're afraid that that there can be just one conclusion
That between the birds there may be collusion...
Now! Onwards and Upwards to the next round which is: 'Memorable Melodies of the Time of Henry VIII'
Oh! Not another bloody music round
Three seconds of barely audible sound
We scored one last time - a probable fluke
And we're not so hot on songs for the Lute..
Everyone!! Time's up. - time to exchange answer sheets!! Hurry up 'The Second Homers Who Love Kernow'.... Pass your answers over to the 'Clever Dicks' on the next table....
There's one of our team who's rather dim
Who's sure Cornwall's county town is Bodmin
The rest of us, we all know the truth
That's Cornwall's county town is Redruth.
We really do need time to think
There are several answers where we're just on the brink...
Of being nearly nearly quite sure of ... ......
We need time to think !!!!!!!!
But our table's next to the Clever Dicks
Who are terribly clever and awfully quick
They're from a pub called The Bo-lin-gay
And they want our answer sheet right away........
Please!! whoever's phone keeps ringing in their pocket with a Seagull ringtone... will they please put it on mute. It's making the 'British Birdsong' round rather difficult for everyone else. And NIGEL! I thought it might be you! And DON'T you dare do any Googling at the same time. I'm watching you!
We actually think that we've done quite well
We shared with those sweet little Kettle Bell Gels
We may be old dogs ... but we know all the tricks
And now that we've had our hearing aids fixed........
Now on to the last round. ... ?The scores so far? .. Alright, after the last but one round the Clever Dicks have just inched ahead of the Frozen Willies .. I suppose that's hardly surprising ...
Oh!! That was the last round!! Sorry... OK! Now... Oh, we've got the final scores already! ...
The winners, by quite a substantial margin...... Are the Octogenarians!! They got top marks in nearly every round except the Digital Terminology Round... sadly, A.I. does not stand for 'Ancient Intelligence"... But - Congratulations.... who'd have thought it!!? Nigel.. and Ian... what's that? You can't hear me because your hearing aid batteries have just gone flat...?? Oh.....Dear..... don't hearing aids nowadays use Bluetooth for phone calls and the internet.........................???