I LIKE MY PHONE!

I have a mobile telephone.  I actually find it very useful.  But although most of the features I use on a daily basis are functioning perfectly well, as indeed they have for many years... I am bombarded with texts and emails of a most insistent nature, imploring me to accept their kind offer of a new and 'upgraded' phone. Unsurprisingly this will involve me changing to a new and upgraded payment contract.

"This year,  we'll spend an average of 3 hours and 49 minutes daily on our smartphones which we will use constantly, for email, texts, web surfing, Facebook posting, tweets, paying for goods at stores, hailing an Uber, listening to music, watching movies and TV shows, taking all those amazing photos and sharing them everywhere under the sun."

I LIKE MY PHONE, I LIKE MY PHONE

OH PLEASE O2 - LEAVE ME ALONE !

I don't want to upgrade

I don't want to upgrade !

Call me stubborn or stupid, old-fashioned or staid

But my current technology suits me just fine

Old bottles I find, are the best for old wine

I've got quite enough of quite new gigabytes

And I know how to find my favourite sites

I've got WhatsApp and texts for communication

And I know how to google for information

My screen's large enough - it's quite fit for purpose

I've got so many pixels I must have a surplus 

I've got POP and SMTP,

Though I find it quite hard to get Radio Pard....

( But then why would you ?? )

I can tell the time, find words that rhyme

Find out if it's raining, and high tide time.

I've an app that does both time and laps

And an app for buying other apps

I've a lot of use for my snooze alarm

And soothing music to help me stay calm

I don't want to upgrade !

I don't want to upgrade !

So why on earth would I need to upgrade?

Why won't O2 just leave me alone?.........

I've got a really lovely ringing tone

And I'm paying as much as I want to pay........

And Alexa can find it when it's hiding away

I don't want to upgrade !

I don't want to upgrade! 

I don't want to upgrade !

I don't want to upgrade!              

I don't want to upgrade ! 

I don't want to upgrade...................        

AND, OVERLAPPING AD NAUSEUM : - 

"Facial recognition   Fingerprint scanning  A truly authentic listening experience Voice activated personal assistant Dual‑camera system captures more of what you see and love.  Highest‑quality video in a smartphone, so your memories look better than ever.

Breakthrough of visual boundaries

This human-centered design can avoid extreme brightness stimulation to deliver a more comfortable and immersive reading experience......"